Wednesday, July 1, 2009

What Happens Between Naps?

After months of sitting around on the floor eating pretend dinners fixed by my 3 year old daughter Lucy and her 9 month old apprentice Ruby, I decided I needed a place to vent. I am an unemployed 33 year old father, sitting on a $40,000 English teaching degree and as of 3:49 today no current job offers. But I'm not worried, why should I be? After all I was told getting a job teaching English in one of the biggest public school systems in the country would be a cinch. Oh yeah, and then there's that part about where they continue to tell me that the system is hiring... last time I checked, my phone still worked (just to be fair, I refuse to believe that my inexperience, stubbornness, arrogance, facial hair and fear of authority have anything to do with this). If I didn't think I could do it, and for that matter do it well, I wouldn't have spent all my wife's money!

So it has come to this... my wife makes the money and I watch the girls. To be honest I've grown quite fond of my position in this family. The advantages are easy to list: Play-doh, parks, cartoons, cookies and naps. The disadvantages are: Accidentally mistaking Play-doh for candy and cookies, being attacked by day dwelling rats at the playground, being forced to watch the same cartoon (and by "same" I mean the exact same. Not just Smurfs, but I mean Smurfs episode 1 season 1 everyday for the past 9 months. The show in question that has brain-washed my child is Hi-Five, I hate it, and I want it to die), and the fury that ensues when naps are not taken. But perhaps the biggest disadvantage is the lack of adult contact and conversation.

I spend a shade less that 12 hours a day watching over the girls. We play, cook, clean, launder, loiter (twice), shop, sleep and just about everything you can think of that will occupy a motivated 3 year old and her increasingly irritable little sister. Sadly, the one thing we never do is discuss current events, politics, music sung by non-animated creatures, sports and the government's ability to stare the American public right in the eye and deny the existence of extraterrestrial life on this planet. Damn it, open the doors to Area 51 and prove to us that there are no aliens or at the least a super mutant Sasquatch army (I've heard things). All of these thoughts, events and mishaps have brought me to this point, this "big" idea. With this blog, I can share these things with adults. I can and will have my say! The problem is on most days I only get an hour and a half of free time, but that's all I'll need. I'm not chronicling every single second of my life. Nope, I don't have time for that. This is strictly limited to the things, thoughts, events, the "life" if you will, that happens between naps.

7 comments:

  1. adding this to my weekly list of "To-read blogs"
    :)

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  2. Okay, based on your writing ability and humor, it's time to focus on both. Your "teacher" has spoken!!!

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  3. Make sure any pictures of the girls are small, did you hear about the woman from missouri who's family christmas photo from her blog ended up in a supermarket ad in europe somewhere-but then she did get her five minutes of fame...

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  4. Great start! LOVE the picture it would look great as a cover to a book:) Can't wait to read more.

    Your sister:)

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  5. When does this become a book?

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  6. Love this blog..keep it up (would by the 'book' in a heartbeat)! :)

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  7. Darcy Rombach LeszinskeAugust 24, 2009 at 10:44 PM

    Jim, what a great thing you are doing for people that feel so alone sometimes. I'm so afraid of losing my 5-year old to kindergarden this year. I will miss him so much!

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