Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The Cost of Happy

When I was 6, I wanted to a Cowboy. One year later my expectations grew and I decided to pursue a career as an astronaut. By the time I turned 8 there was a regression of sorts… I wanted to be a Polar Bear.

Finally, at the age of 36, I got my act together and figured it out. I want to be rich. I don’t want to worry about things I can control if I have the means to do so, that’s what moneys’ for.

Now, I’ve thought this through and I’m fully aware of the old adage, “Money can’t buy happiness,” and it’s obvious to me, that it’s a lie. I’ve deconstructed those words philosophically, mathematically and organically and I’ve come to the conclusion that there is only one thing money cannot buy and that is “true love’s first kiss.” Everything else can be found in the land of excess currency, happiness included. The problem is we’re not rich; we’re not even close. We’re getting by just like the other 99%, and then it happened… A dream. A vision. A thought. It was an off the wall, out of the box idea, but what if? What if I just asked - - for “free.”

Is it Hollywood? Am I insane? Is it possible to make our lives more awesome, more fun and less stressful by obtaining material possessions and living out extravagant moments without spending any money of our own? Well the answer is yes-maybe-I think-I don’t know, but I’m gonna try. No money, just letters and words asking for things that will help take some of the worry away. I believe there are people, companies and countries out there that are willing, but I won’t know, unless I ask. First up? Fancy pillows.

Dear Tempur-Pedic,

Recently my wife and I went out shopping for a better night's rest. We were overwhelmed by the possibilities. One bed after another, it was too soft, too firm or too foamy. Not to mention the prices that ranged from, “That must be used” to “Blessed by the Pope.” Quite frankly, comfort came at a price that was so far out of our budget, we've decided that the only thing left to do was go home, lay our tired bodies on a mattress which now felt like the bottom of a rock filled river bed and wait until we win the lotto. But then something happened. On the very last bed we sat on, we laid our heads on your wonderful Tempur-Pedic Classic pillows. It was like my head fell into a cloud covered with dreams and sprinkled with innocence. In fact, I think we both blacked out, it was simply marvelous. The price, although understandably high was well out of our pillow budget, (which currently rest at about $10 a head) so we left a few tears on those little puffs of perfection and returned home where we cried ourselves to sleep on pillows that now felt like coconut stuffed burlap sacks.

Then I had a vision, an idea.... You see I'm a stay-at-home-dad (no income), who writes a blog with a pretty good following, (eh, 500ish). My idea was to write to you under the story headline, "You don't know unless you ask,” and ask you if you would be willing to send a couple of pillows to me for (deep breath)… free. Is it absurd? Yes. Will it work? I'm not sure. Will it make a great story for my blog? Absolutely! I mean what's the worst that can happen? Obviously you say no and send me a letter (or, I’ll never hear from you) stating that you can't give away product, but that’s what I expect. I don’t like that I have expectations; it prevents people (like me) from doing extraordinary things (asking for free pillows). But what if you find this to be a good cause? What if you do send us a couple of those wonderful Classic pillows for our weary heads? That would be… AMAZING! Plus everyone who reads my blog will say, "Holy cow, Tempur-Pedic is a real stand up company who cares about random people's tired noggins." This could work. This could be great. And we’ll both sleep better knowing how cool this whole experiment was. I hope this finds you in good health and well rested.

Jim Noonan

One week later...

Next up? Im gonna ask John Stamos to resurrect his role as uncle Jessie for my wife’s 43rd birthday. That’s the goal, that’s EVERYONE’S goal.


  1. Congratulations! Maybe try for a puppy next. -Jason

  2. Now I'm just pissed that you have free awesome pillows. Bastard!